145

There. I said it. When I stepped on the scale on Tuesday, 145.0 is what it told me. Awesome. I'm 5'5" and 145 lbs. So now you all know - I'm all fully disclosed on the blog.

The stupid scale was purchased at Target this past weekend, and even though I had it on hand, it took me almost 2 days to work up the courage to step on it. How stupid is that? Very stupid. It's not all my fault, though. I wanted a pretty teak scale from Bed Bath & Beyond, but I ended up opting for cheap and convenient. I think it would have been easier if it was a prettier thing to look at. It just seems so....industrial? sad? ugly? I think I need to put stickers on it or paint it or something to make it look better so it's not just big ugly numbers staring up at me. Grrrrr...

Now the important thing will be to keep stepping on it every week. I've decided that Sunday mornings after my long runs is when I feel skinniest, so hopefully that's when I will be lightest. I'll let you know how it goes. This scale that I purchased also supposedly tells me what percent of my body is fat (24.6%) but I'm not sure I trust it as a reliable source. I suppose I will start to trust it as a reliable source as Operation: Sexy Bitch continues and the numbers and percents start heading on the decline.

Facing Reality
It's a rough thing when you come to the awful truth that what you have convinced yourself to be reality is, in fact, 26.2 miles or so away from the truth. Like when you step on a scale for the first time in months and realize you've gained 8 pounds. Or when you get a Nike+ thingy to plug into your amazing iPod to track your progress on your runs.



My MuM warned me: When I told her I was getting a Nike+ to track my mileage so I know for sure how far I've gone and how fast I've run, she said, "Don't do it! It sucks knowing that you're not running sub-8 minute miles anymore!" And it's so, so true. I used it for the first time yesterday on just a little run, and while it wasn't awful (I ran four miles averaging 8:30) it sure felt like I was moving a lot faster. It's very easy to get disheartened and want to quit when I start thinking about how fast I used to be and how much work it's going to take to get back there. It seems so much more simple to just not even try and to reflect back on the glory days rather than try to redeem them a little bit.

On the other hand, it's important for me track my miles accurately. It would a bad thing if I thought I was logging way more miles than I really was. I'd be in a sad, sore, bad way come December 12. So, the best thing is to just suck it up - I need to get over it, stop feeling sorry for heavier, slower self and just get out there and keep running, because that's the only thing that's going to make the scale or my new little personal trainer tell me what I want to hear (or see...whatever.)

On Another Note
During my run yesterday, my left foot starting cramping soooo badly. Usually I can run through just about any little ache or side stitch, but this really hurt. Like knives in my arch with every step. So I stopped and massaged it and made a note to myself to eat more bananas for potassium. Well, when I told this little story to my beautiful friend Teresa, she told me that she had heard once from a nutritionist that cucumbers actually have even more potassium than bananas. Who knew?! "So", I said to myself, "I'm going to have to start adding more cucumbers into my diet" and that got me thinking...I've been eating pretty much the same 5 meals every day since Billy left. I bet that leaves me lacking in certain nutrients, vitamins, what have you. Now I'm no pharmacist, but I figured it might be a good idea to start taking a multi-vitamin every day. So I started this morning.

I'm sure this is just the first out of many little running "injuries" that I'll face in the course of training. It seems like this is going to force me into being more conscious of what kinds of foods I'm putting in, and not just purely concerned about calories (luckily, cucumbers are a remarkably low-cal food)